Setting boundaries against lies...

Week 16: 

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 ³ For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. ⁴ The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. ⁵ We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

I have a friend who says often, “Satan’s biggest tool is the lie.”  When we look at the fall of mankind, it began with a lie.  Those of us walking with the Lord will battle the great tool of the evil one…the lie.  Satan knows the redeemed are saved.  Therefore, I believe that he will use any deception to make us believe otherwise and in turn; we become discouraged. 

Many use the above verse in a context of Christian vs. non-Christian.  I agree that this is a powerful verse to remind us that we who are in Christ have access to divine power against those who wage war against Christianity. 

I also see another valuable place where this verse reveals help for me.  I have access to divine power to fight against the condemning messages that I personally carry within myself. 

All of us have at one time or another (or many times) have heard a negative message about ourselves that really landed.  We believed what we heard.  It may have begun with a simple correction or criticism.  It may have been a truth we needed to hear but was not delivered in a healthy way.  In some ways, we may carry these messages in order to motivate ourselves to do and be good.  Whatever the case may be, we all carry negative messages about ourselves.

These negative messages about who we are inside…are lies!  The initial criticism may have been rooted in truth and we corrected our path, but the continual message we carry from that initial correction is false.  And we cannot eliminate these without divine power.  Accessing this divine power is easier than one may think.  Those of us who claim to be redeemed, who are saved, have the Holy Spirit living within us.  And The Spirit has power.  Yet, it does not always manifest itself in some “Hollywood” fashion.

I believe there are, what I call Spiritual revelations of divine power at my access.  Let me give an example:  My child disobeys me in such a way that I feel disrespected.  My reaction to his disrespect is “over the top”.  I begin to raise my voice and verbally beat down my child.  This unhealthy reaction is my first revelation:  I am exposed.  Something else besides my child’s disrespect is going on in my heart.  Some semblance of this message is going on in my heart, “I am not worthy of respect”.  My unhealthy response is a reaction to a lie I believe about myself.  This exposure is the Spirit telling me that something in me needs divine power. 

The second revelation is buried deep within my heart.  God made me; I am good at my core.  This was written in my DNA and awakened of sorts when I accepted Jesus.  This is part of the reason I am fighting against disrespect.  I don’t believe the negative message at my core.  I may be flawed.  I may make poor choices and sin.  But, I am wonderfully made by the creator of all.  Yet, at some level I believe the message/lie and live life accordingly.  I must believe the truth about my existence and how I am made in the image of God.

This leads to the third revelation.  This one requires action on my part.  It is time for me to set a boundary against the lie.  I do this by taking “captive every thought and making it obedient to Christ.”  This action I take is based in what I know about God, Jesus, and the grace that flows from the heart of God.  The action is becoming intentional about believing in the truth about me at my core.  God created me good.  The lies I choose to believe and the choices I make based on the lies do not change the fact that God loves me, always.  The boundary I set comes from my belief that His love and grace is available to me at all times.  The truth message must over-power the lie message. 

As I go through this process of walking through the Spiritual revelations, the lies begin to fade.  However, until Jesus returns, I will have to walk through this cycle continuously.  I live in a fallen world.  And, I tend to add to the problem by believe the lies.  But, I battle daily to believe God’s truth.

Question/challenges:

1.      What are some of the lies you believe about you?

2.      Where did these originate?  From what truth have they been twisted?

3.      What are your thoughts around the revelation of exposure?

4.      What are your thoughts around the fact that God made you good at your core?

5.      If this is difficult for you to believe, then what is the reason behind it?

6.      This week, bring before Jesus the lie you believe about you.  Imagine He is in the room with you.  Ask for His opinion about the lie.  Then, ask Him to tell you the truth about you.  Soak that in.

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Have I really changed at all...?

Week 15:

This is an article I wrote for The Crucible Project Blog back in December 2014.  I still have to walk through this on a regular basis.

Psalm 27:14 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

About eight years ago, I began a journey to make changes and transform my life. My Christian walk had become dry and lifeless. I began searching and praying for change. I began taking part in life-changing events including my initial weekend with The Crucible Project. My transformation curve seemed to make an upward turn.

However, there were times that I slipped back into my old ways and patterns of doing life. When that happened, I felt worse than before. And during those times, I began to question if I had made any change at all. Over the course of time I have seen some indicators of change. The answer to whether or not I have changed is… “Yes.”

I lead a group of men who have also attended a Crucible Weekend. After a year or so of leading this group, I began to notice a common feeling among some of us.

The conversation would go something like this: “I did my weekend and I am faithful to group, yet I sometimes feel that I have made no progress at all.”

For me — as the group leader — I could see quite a bit of change and difference in the man who was wondering. I quickly pointed out to him that I could see quite a bit of change. The group concurred and supported him. He could not see it, but others around him could.

That was the first indicator that I am not the man I once was. By watching someone else and his transformation process, I realized that I am changing too. It is hard for me to see it looking in the mirror.

I’m also a high school principal and we’ve been making some changes at our school. As we navigated those changes, one of the books I read was Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change by William Bridges. . Personally, the book has given me a new glimpse in the momentum I have established in the transformation process I started eight years ago. If you’re wondering the same things I have been, then Bridges’ insights might be useful for you. Bridges breaks transitions into three phases (see diagram below):

• There is the Ending, Losing, and Letting go phase.
• There is a Neutral Zone.
• Finally, there is a New Beginning.

Here’s how his phases have applied to my personal transition:

• When I started my transformation journey, I began the Ending, Losing, and Letting go phase. I took part in several activities and processes to “end” how I was previously doing life (One of those activities was my initial weekend with The Crucible Project).
• “Ending” how I was doing life placed me in the neutral zone. In the neutral zone, I do not see the new beginning clearly. However, in the neutral zone, I can take risks and try new ways of living. This area is scary, ambiguous, and sometimes disorienting. There is a lot of unknown in the neutral zone. It is easy at times to want to go back to the old way of doing things. I am still letting go of some old ways and patterns. However, I am freed from the old life to walk new. I’ll fail at times. But the moving forward toward the new beginning has given me new life.
• The new beginning will create other areas where transformation will need to occur. I know that God can change me in an instant. But I also know that is not how He works to build me into who I supposed to be. I have to let go of the old, wrestle with where I am, and look to the new. This will be ongoing. That is why life is called a journey…not a destination.

So, when I wonder if I’ve really changed after all this work, here are three things I do:

• I see the change in others and realize that I have changed as well.
• I look at the old me and reflect on where I was versus on where I am now.
• I recognize that I am on a journey … and not just reaching a destination.

I may not see my transformation progress like I see it in others. But, when I begin the process of reflection and awareness, I begin to see and believe that change is happening.

Photo Credit: Robert Anthony Provost

Questions/challenges:

1.      Describe a period of transformation in your life?

2.      What was it like to experience this life change?

3.      Have you struggled to see your own transformation? 

4.      How do these phases of transition apply to you?

5.      This week, reflect off of someone close to you and have them point out where you are as opposed to where you have been.  See what comes up for you and then ask God what step you should take next.

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Beyond my help...

Week 14:

I Corinthians 3:6 I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow.

I struggle with being a “fixer”.  There, I said it.  From a place in my heart of compassion and a want to help, I tend to try and fix situations and relationships around me.  The core of my intention is good.  However, the “fixing” has an intention of serving me.  I feel better when things are fixed.  I gain affirmation when things get fixed.  I feel worth when things get fixed. 

What is the reality?  I cannot fix everything.  It is interesting to me that God would lead me into a profession where it is impossible for me to fix.  In the education world I am in, I deal with multiple personalities on a daily basis.  God placed me here for a reason.  I used to think it was to “fix”.  That may happen on occasion, but that is not my purpose.  As a young teacher, I led a group of parents in a short devotional thought around the above passage.  In our Christian school setting, we do not always see the fruit of our labor and influence.  We are to plant and water.  God gives growth.  And I may never see the growth.  That is hard on a fixer.

Letting go of “fixing” takes time, effort, patience, and intentionality.  And, fixing is dangerous.

·         When I fix, I can become a poser in order to please.

·         When I fix, I sometimes am only fixing my own discomfort.  This can have me steer a person into a worse position.

·         When I fix, I can become a “hero” only to let that person down at a later time.

·         When I fix, I may stifle growth that God wants to happen.

·         When I fix, I can become exhausted and eventually resentful being needed.

·         When I fix, I may create a co-dependency with others.  It may create a vicious cycle of; I need to fix and they need fixing.

How do I let go of this drug-like need to “fix”? 

·         I need to be secure with knowing God makes growth.  I plant and I water.  That is all I am called to do. 

·         Prayer.  My prayers need to be directed toward letting go and having faith that God will do His work.  My prayers also need to be directed toward the person I have planted in or watered.

·         Admit in the situation that I tend toward wanting to “fix”.  Speaking this truth keeps me from being controlled by it. 

I recently tweeted on Twitter a quote that I need to commit to living:  “For those beyond my ability and power to help, I must ask God to intervene.”  It is difficult at times, yet freeing to let go of the “fixing” part of me.  The freedom comes through the faith that God knows what He is doing and he makes things grow.


Questions/challenges:

1.      In what ways are you a “fixer”?

2.      How has “fixing” served you?  Is this the first time that you may have realized that some of your “fixing” is self-serving?

3.      What are some other possible dangers in “fixing”?

4.      What do you need to let go of in order to move back to planning and watering?

5.      This week allow God to show you where you are planting or watering.  Ask Him to show you some of the fruits of your labor.

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Sadly, I am behind...

Week 13:

For the first time, I have fallen way behind in my devotional thoughts.  For week 13, I would like to send you to The Crucible Project website blog page and share an article from my friend and mentor Judson Poling.

Read “Heart-Attacking” here.

Enjoy!
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I am created...

Week 12:

Genesis 1:26-31 ²⁶ Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”  ²⁷ So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.  ²⁸ God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”  ²⁹ Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. ³⁰ And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.” And it was so. ³¹ God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

As much as I hate to admit it, I am influenced by the theory of evolution.  I am a believer of creation by God.  I believe the Genesis account of the origin of creation.  I believe that God set in motion our existence.  I believe that there is an eternity beyond the current life and body I now have.  Yet, I do not always live life this way.

This recently came to light for me as I was leading one of my men’s groups through an exercise of reflecting on the little boy inside each of us.  As I was taking part in the exercise for myself, the phrase “I am created” came up for me.  In fact, once the phrase surfaced, I could not get off of that phrase.  It was then and there that I realized that I do not always live life as if I were created. 

So, what is the difference?  In a nutshell, those who do not believe the creation story basically believe that we are just colliding atoms and chemicals melted together into the being we are.  When we die, that is the end of us.  Everything we do is based on selectivity and survival of the fittest.  Those of us who believe we are created by God basically understand that there is a creator; we have a purpose; we have an eternal soul; and when we die, there is an eternity. 

What I realized during the exercise was that I forget at times that I am created.  I tend to live life as if I am just a bunch of chemicals colliding and trying to survive life.  I will wander aimlessly, acting out a victim’s life in my world.  I let my circumstances dictate my life too much at times.  It is in these moments that I have bought into a lie that I am not created.  At the core of this thinking and lack of belief, I no longer have purpose.  I cease to have power in my life.  At that point, I have checked out. 

When I live life as if I am created, I begin to see my purpose (or at least that I know I have a purpose).  I live life as if I am loved.  I wander less.  I treat others as if they are created.  I recognize the gift of life.  I have hope for eternity.  I feel, I decide, I love, I desire, I live.  I am reminded that I am created in the image of God and His Son.  And at the end of that day (the sixth day of creation), He said, “…it was very good.”

Questions/challenges:

1.      How do you connect or not connect with this article?

2.      Do you catch yourself not feeling created in life?  How so?

3.      When do you feel most “created”?

4.      What are some examples of how you know you are created?

5.      Spend some time this week in silence, reflection and meditation around the phrase “I am created”.  Notice what comes up for you. 

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Believing vs. believing in...

Week 11:

Matthew 7:24 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.

Romans 2:13 For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous.

James 1:22-25; 2:18-24 ²² Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror ²⁴ and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. ²⁵ But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

¹⁸ But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”  Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds.19 You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.  ²⁰ You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? ²¹ Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? ²² You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. ²³ And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,” and he was called God’s friend. ²⁴ You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone.

Proverbs 20:24 A person’s steps are directed by the Lord.  How then can anyone understand their own way?

What is the difference?  Is there a difference between believing and believing in?  When it comes to faith in God and in His Son Jesus, the difference shows up in several ways.  I know in my own life, I get caught in belief rather than believing in.  It is a matter of faith in action.  So toady, join me in reflecting on the following differences between believing and believing in:

·         Believing is acknowledging there is a God.  Believing in is following that God.

·         Believing is listening to God’s Word.  Believing in is applying that Word to everyday life.

·         Believing is recognizing God’s presence.  Believing in is taking action on His presence and what His presence is calling one to do.

·         Believing is the knowledge that God has a plan.  Believing in is the knowledge that I/you are a part of that plan.

·         Believing is hearing God’s call.  Believing in is acting on that call.

·         Believing is the knowledge that His Word is true.  Believing in is acting in obedience that His Word.

·         Believing blesses me.  Believing in blesses God.

·         Believing allows me to know what is righteous.  Believing in makes me righteous.

·         Believing unlocks a guide to life.  Believing in becomes a guide to life.

·         Believing unlocks wisdom.  Believing in is wisdom gained and put into action.

·         Believing is listening.  Believing in is doing.

·         Believing is general, vague and anonymous.  Believing in requires commitment and produces fruit.

·         Believing means I believe in God.  Believing in means I walk with God.

As I walk through this faith of mine.  I jump back and forth between believing and believing in.  The challenge to me is believe in daily.  Why wouldn’t I?  It produces every time.  Yet, as flawed human, this is still my challenge.  How have you been challenged today?

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The fear of being unclean...

Week 10:


Luke 10:30-31  ³⁰ In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. ³¹ A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 

This passage is a part of the bigger story of the “Good Samaritan”.  In this story, Jesus describes three different people coming upon a beaten man and how they each handled this situation.  I wanted to focus on the priest in this devotional thought this week.

As some may know or remember, a priest would be considered ceremonially unclean if he touched this man.  He would then have to be separated for a time from his people and experience rituals common to becoming clean again.  This would take some time and effort, and he could not perform his duties as priest during this period.  It makes sense that he would want to avoid the beaten man.  Knowing this background, it changes my view somewhat in a couple of ways:

·         I have judged the priest harshly since first hearing this parable.  The parable focuses on what constitutes a good neighbor.  For years, being a Jesus follower, I have been focused on the negative of this story and that focus has been directed toward the Priest and the Levite.  I had not put together the priest’s actions being directly related to his position.  I have associated the priest with the Pharisees and negatively judged the priest.  I now understand better why he did it in light of his position.  This doesn’t mean I condone his actions.  It does mean that I identify with the inconvenience caused for a man in his position.

·         I am more like the priest than I would like to admit.  I cannot say that I would have acted any differently.  I hold a position in life where if I associate with something unclean, the inconvenience of any kind of ritualistic cleansing would lead me to avoid the situation.  Obviously, I do not have to go through any process to become clean.  However, if it was observed that I was in association with uncleanliness, I would have some explaining to experience with those in my larger religious circle.

This revelation to me is convicting.  I work hard on being authentic.  I want to be the same in character everywhere.  I desire to serve without caring what others think and pleasing only the Lord.  Yet, I still avoid situations where I could be a good neighbor in order to save my Christian “image”. 

I commonly advise students who ae struggling with fitting to examine the group they are trying to fit in with.  I make note that if this group cannot accept him/her for who he/she is and who he/she associates with, then that group is not who he/she should try to fit in with.  Wow!  I need to take my own advice!  If helping a “sinful” person through his “stuff” and pain is going to reflect badly on me with a certain group, maybe this is not the group I need to associate with. 

The challenge I receive from this is to serve where God leads.  The call is there, and I need not worry about image.  From this I am reminded of James 4:17 “If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”  This includes helping those what might cause me to be viewed as “unclean”.  Yet it is God I am pleasing, not man.

Questions/challenges:

1.      How were you challenged by this thought today?

2.      Which of the three passers-by would you say you are?  Explain.

3.      What are your thoughts about the priest being inconvenienced by having to be cleansed?

4.      Where do you disagree with this article?

5.      What action do you need to take this week in light of what you have read today?  What is God calling you to do?

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