Beyond my help...

Week 14:

I Corinthians 3:6 I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow.

I struggle with being a “fixer”.  There, I said it.  From a place in my heart of compassion and a want to help, I tend to try and fix situations and relationships around me.  The core of my intention is good.  However, the “fixing” has an intention of serving me.  I feel better when things are fixed.  I gain affirmation when things get fixed.  I feel worth when things get fixed. 

What is the reality?  I cannot fix everything.  It is interesting to me that God would lead me into a profession where it is impossible for me to fix.  In the education world I am in, I deal with multiple personalities on a daily basis.  God placed me here for a reason.  I used to think it was to “fix”.  That may happen on occasion, but that is not my purpose.  As a young teacher, I led a group of parents in a short devotional thought around the above passage.  In our Christian school setting, we do not always see the fruit of our labor and influence.  We are to plant and water.  God gives growth.  And I may never see the growth.  That is hard on a fixer.

Letting go of “fixing” takes time, effort, patience, and intentionality.  And, fixing is dangerous.

·         When I fix, I can become a poser in order to please.

·         When I fix, I sometimes am only fixing my own discomfort.  This can have me steer a person into a worse position.

·         When I fix, I can become a “hero” only to let that person down at a later time.

·         When I fix, I may stifle growth that God wants to happen.

·         When I fix, I can become exhausted and eventually resentful being needed.

·         When I fix, I may create a co-dependency with others.  It may create a vicious cycle of; I need to fix and they need fixing.

How do I let go of this drug-like need to “fix”? 

·         I need to be secure with knowing God makes growth.  I plant and I water.  That is all I am called to do. 

·         Prayer.  My prayers need to be directed toward letting go and having faith that God will do His work.  My prayers also need to be directed toward the person I have planted in or watered.

·         Admit in the situation that I tend toward wanting to “fix”.  Speaking this truth keeps me from being controlled by it. 

I recently tweeted on Twitter a quote that I need to commit to living:  “For those beyond my ability and power to help, I must ask God to intervene.”  It is difficult at times, yet freeing to let go of the “fixing” part of me.  The freedom comes through the faith that God knows what He is doing and he makes things grow.


Questions/challenges:

1.      In what ways are you a “fixer”?

2.      How has “fixing” served you?  Is this the first time that you may have realized that some of your “fixing” is self-serving?

3.      What are some other possible dangers in “fixing”?

4.      What do you need to let go of in order to move back to planning and watering?

5.      This week allow God to show you where you are planting or watering.  Ask Him to show you some of the fruits of your labor.

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