Struggle, strength, and discipline...

Week 18:

This week, spend time in meditation over this passage.  Follow the instructions below the passage as your guide.

Hebrews 12:4-13


⁴ In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. ⁵ And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,

    and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

⁶ because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,

    and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”^[a]

⁷ Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? ⁸ If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. ⁹ Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! ¹⁰ They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. ¹¹ No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

¹² Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. ¹³ “Make level paths for your feet,”^[b] so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

1. Hebrews 12:6 Prov. 3:11,12
2. Hebrews 12:13 Prov. 4:26 

You will be reading this passage three times following the guidelines below:

1.  First reading.  Read the passage through, one time, slowly.  Pause between each clause.  After you finish this first reading, be silent for a minute or two.

2.  Second reading.  Read the text slowly once again, pausing between phrases.  But this time pause even longer and be aware if any of the words or phrases that catch your attention, or seem to stand out in some way.  Make a mental note of those.  After you finish the second reading, write down those special words or phrases.

3.  Third reading.  Reread the passage up to the word or phrase that touched you in some way.  When you reach that word or phrase, stop and repeat it a few times.

4.  Pondering.  Reflect for a while on the phrase that moved you.  Repeat it a few more times.  Let the words interact with your thoughts, your memories or any other Bible passages that come to mind.  Let it touch your heart, desires and fears.  Begin to wonder, “What might God want to say to me specifically”?

5.  Prayer.  Turn that last question into a prayer, asking God, “What is the word you have for me in this passage, God?  Is there anything you want to say to me today?”  Listen.  Write down anything you sense God might be saying to you.

6.  Rest.  Be still and silent for a while.  Enjoy being in the presence of God.  In this step you move from doing to being.  Simply be for a while.

7.  Response.  Ask yourself and God, “What am I being called to do as a result of the word I have been given?”  Perhaps you are feeling challenged to love God more, or to accept some aspect of who you are, or to serve someone you know or to begin changing some aspect of your character.  Whatever it is, write it out.  “Today God is calling me to be a more ______ person.  Be with me God and teach me how.”   Thank God for the word and the calling you have been given.

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Which one am I...?

Week 17:

Proverbs 9:12 If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you; if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer.

Notice the picture above.  This cactus has been growing off our back patio for years.  My father had it in a metal tub that has rotted away and the cactus has grown into the ground beneath where the tub was.  I have taken many pictures of this cactus during the spring when it blooms.  Notice the beauty of the flower yet the potential pain of the thorn.  It is interesting how they are so close together.  At times, those of us who live in righteousness walk that line between the goodness of the flower and the sting of the thorn.

Recently at school, one of our teachers has encouraged his class to stand during the reading of scripture.  No matter the circumstance, whether we have a guest speaker in chapel, or the text is being read in class, the students stand in honor of God’s Word being read.  It is an impressive site…and…it has compelled others to stand with them.  The guest speakers have been taken back and impressed as well.  However, now that it has happened a few times, there has arisen a group of mockers who make fun of these students for their act of reverence. 

This mocking of these students brought up another passage for me.  Matthew 5:10-12: “¹⁰ Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. ¹¹ “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. ¹² Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”  As I reflected on how I may approach the students who have been mocking this righteous behavior, I needed to do some self-reflection of my own.  Which one am I…the flower or the thorn, the wise or the mocker, the righteous or the insulter? 

I would love to say that I am the flower, the wise, the righteous.  Today, I would say that I am more the positive than the negative.  However, I have not always been so.  I have been the thorns, the mocker, and the insulter.  So, I ask myself three questions:  What is my reason?  What is my intent?  Is this the way I want others to know me? 

I think my reason and intent are intertwined.  One of the reasons I have mocked righteousness in the past has been because I felt conviction and guilt that I am not acting in righteousness.  My intent behind the mocking is to ease my discomfort by making fun of the act or even the person behind the act.  A second reason is that I tend to make fun of what I do not understand.  The intent is to cover what I perceive as stupidity in not understanding.  Finally, and unfortunately, my reason has been simply that I was bent on committing evil.  My intent in this case is usually to gain something for myself, usually some sort of reaction and notoriety. 

Of course, this is not how I would want others to know me.  Some of my deepest regrets have been how I have presented myself in the past.  Many who know me now and most who know me from my past would see me as an imperfect, righteous man.  However, regretfully, there are those who were only around me when I was the thorn, the mocker, and the insulter.  I am thankful for the grace of God through Jesus that helps me to see myself as a forgiven man.  My prayer is that others will know God’s love and grace despite my poor choices and actions.

For those who are living as the flower, the wise, and the righteous; do not lose heart and do not give up on that life.  Take to heart Matthew 5:10-12, not so that you may gain reward, but because it is what God put on your heart to do.  His blessings will follow somewhere.

Questions/challenges:

1.      Describe a time where you have been the thorn, the mocker, and/or the insulter.

2.      What do think where your reasons and intent behind your choices and actions?

3.      As you reflect back on that time, how do you feel about it now?

4.      When you have been the flower, the wise, and the righteous…what came to mind when the thorn, the mocker, and the insulter came around?

5.      What type of person do you want to be known or viewed?

6.      Take inventory on your life this week.  Reflect back on which you have been in some situations in your life.  Let God point out to you what was behind your choices and actions.  Then, let God’s grace and forgiveness cover your heart.

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Churchy transparency vs. authentic transparency...

Week 16:

I Corinthians 4:5 ⁵ Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God.

What is hidden will be revealed.  God will shed light on all things…the good and the bad.  I hear from time to time about transparency among believers.  In Church, there are times where a transparent life is mentioned.  My experience around this has been varied.  In the right context, transparency has been a grace-filled, freeing experience.  However, in most church contexts, it has been “Churchy” and shallow. 

What I am talking about here is not necessarily confession linked to sin…although it applies to that as well.  In fact, confessing sin can really be easier than becoming transparent and opening my heart.  You see, I know just the right amount of sin to confess to get the pat on the back and the golden ticket of forgiveness.  I can use “Church” language, appeal to the sins of similar nature others have committed, and feel a sense of accomplishment.  But to bear my heart’s longings…that is just not safe. 

For me, to admit I am disappointed in God’s decision or timing creates discomfort in others.  So does admitting I am angry, revealing my pain in a loss, admitting a blind spot exists, etc.  Many do not want to hear that I was disappointed and wondered where God was when my Grandparents died while still relatively young; or that my parents divorced; or that I felt like an outcast in Junior High and that the feeling comes up occasionally when I am among peers today.  So, I have learned like so many others to use the “Church” language, pray harder, learn more scripture, do more workshops and seminars, and play “Church” well. 

You see, what I put in the dark is not always sin.  I will push down things like sadness, fear, anger, discomfort and cover them with “Churchy” talk.  But they never really disappear and usually they re-appear in the form of some sort of sin in the future.  God wants all of that in the light.  “He will bring to the light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart.”  This transparency can be painful in the beginning, but a whole lot less so than what pain comes out of the darkness.

I think of it this way.  When painting a house, I must first remove any of the peeling paint.  If I try to paint over the peeling paint, then the new paint will not last very long.  Similarly, if I use “Churchy” talk to cover over my heart’s issues, it is a temporary fix.  So, I must remove the old paint.  Now, I could shortcut the process by just brushing off the loose flakes.  This is like confessing sin in such a way to gain sympathy but not really having the contrite heart.  No, I must scrape and sand the surface in order to prepare it for new paint.  Scraping and sanding is messy.  Part of the wood is lost in the process.  Some paint is hard to remove and takes some digging.  Being transparent is messy and painful coming out.  However, the new paint of grace is so much smoother and lasts so much longer when I expose the wood of my heart. 

This is a risky process for me.  I will be judged by others who do not understand this authentic transparency.  There may be consequences for opening up.  I lose my excuses for failures.  I could lose some of my drive that made me who I am today.  However, what I lose is nothing compared to what I gain in God’s grace and knowing that nothing is hidden.  It really takes a lot of time and wasted energy to push things into the darkness.  God will reveal it eventually, why shouldn’t I help Him by opening up now?

Questions/challenges:

1.      What repetitive sin do you hide?

2.      What uncomfortable things, not necessarily sinful things do you hide?

3.      Why do you suppose that this transparency is not practiced in most Churches?

4.      What wound do you need God’s grace to flood?

5.      Notice this week what you hide and repress.  Ask God to help you to bring that into the light. 

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How long do I put up with you...?

Week 15:

Matthew 17:17 “You unbelieving and perverse generation,” Jesus replied, “How long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me.”

I was being hard on myself recently about my lack of patience with people.  I was in a place where I was trying to help.  I was even asked for help and advice.  Yet after spending time with the people I was helping, they never used what I coached them to use.  For the most part, it is selfish of me to get a charge out of helping someone when he/she uses my advice.  It is especially selfish when I do so in order to gain my own glory.  However, the situation that tries my patience the most is when I feel I was Spirit-led and had no motive beyond help.  It is here where I really have to drill down and look at whether or not I have a right to be impatient. 

Sometimes, I truly feel like Jesus did in the above verse.  The people He was teaching and leading just were not getting why He was here.  All the people were wanting was something for them.  And, His disciples were just not getting this faith thing.  Jesus had been with them for some time.  He had taught them, mentored them, and they still did not get it.  I gain great comfort through reading about Jesus being human and frustrated. 

What this tells me is that there are times where my impatience and frustration are valid and even warranted.  Jesus lived as the perfect man…the second Adam.  Jesus was what God intended for humankind to be like.  Yet, Jesus did and said things that make us church people uncomfortable.  How can Jesus say, “How long shall I put up with you?”  Jesus could because He was human.  But notice that Jesus did not do what I and many others do when frustrated and impatient.  Jesus did not belittle, use sarcasm, resent, throw a tantrum, or disengage.  He still healed the boy.  Afterward, He explained to His disciples why they were unsuccessful in healing the boy.  Jesus expressed His emotion, was clear about it, and continued on. 

So what do I learn from Jesus’ example?  First of all, I must ask myself, “Why am I impatient and frustrated in this moment?”  Is it because I want glory?  If so, then I am serving with the wrong motive and I need to check myself and move in a different direction.  If I am serving due to a nudge from the Spirit to generally help, then I can give myself grace when I become frustrated with the lack of action. 

Again, Jesus was our example of humankind.  I am allowed a certain amount of emotional outburst within the confines of control.  I am allowed to be frustrated that what I advised was not used.  What I have to watch for is how I react beyond the frustration.  Am I sarcastic, belittling, resentful, or checked out?  If I am taking part in this behavior, then I have gone beyond the bounds that Jesus showed me.  In short, can I be good with the Spirit led me here, I spoke, and the rest is up to the one I attempted to help?  The big challenge for me is to not only be good with myself around this but to also avoid the negative follow-up that could arise.  I can be human, but no inhumane.

Questions/challenges:

1.      What tests your patience the most?

2.      When you are asked to help and then the person you’re helping does nothing you suggest, how do you react?

3.      What is your go to reaction beyond impatience and frustration (resentment, sarcasm, belittling, manipulation, and/or disengagement, something else)?

4.      What can you learn from Jesus in this area?

5.      Pay attention this week to why you give advice or help.  Is it Spirit-led, or is it selfish motivation?  Ask God to reveal to you what He wants you to see and hear in this area of your life. 

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De-humanizing the human...

Week 14:

Romans 7:15-25 ¹⁵ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶ And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. ²¹ So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²² For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; ²³ but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. ²⁴ What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? ²⁵ Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!  So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

As a Christian High School Principal, I deal with students, parents, and teachers on a regular basis.  An interesting phenomenon for me is how each group will tend to de-humanize another.  It happens the most with a students’ view of a teacher.  He may view his teacher as an emotionless being who thinks of school all the time.  When he sees his teacher at the store out of the context of school and dressed differently than the normal school attire, it throws him a little.  “My teacher eats normal groceries?”  Okay, so this is an over-exaggerated analogy, but not far off.  When a teacher has a human reaction to a student, it takes the student back. 

Upon encountering one of these situations recently, I began to look inward and ask myself, “Where in my life do I do this as well?”  That was an easy answer, “Lots of places.”  Sometimes the people I disagree with become faceless, emotionless, unhuman beings in my world.  It is just easier for me to put them in that category.  It gives me someone to blame for how I feel as a result of what decision they have made.  In fact, many times I de-humanize men and women of the Bible.  I place them in a Spiritual bubble and compare myself to them.  When I compare myself to them in this way, I never will be as spiritual as they are.  I miss their human qualities, or at least dismiss those qualities with the idea that the characters had a closer contact with God than I do.  Taking the idea of de-humanization further; I especially de-humanize government officials. 

Why do I de-humanize others?  Well, there are several reasons.  First of all, I do this when I feel I will never measure up to the person or persons I am de-humanizing.  This is especially true about the Biblical characters.  I get to see the outcome of their lives.  I forget, or do not read into the human struggles they encountered and through God became what I read about.  I set them apart as more than human and in a place I can never reach.  I also will do this with leaders I look up to and follow.  I do not see the hard work they have put in to get where they are now.  I forget how much it takes to get to the position they are in and I see them as super-human.

A second reason is that it is easier to de-humanize than to look at myself.  I can blame others for my shortcomings, laziness, broken agreements, misguided anger, etc., by looking upon them as other than human.  I place them in some sort of category that is so void of human emotion or reasoning that they are the enemy.  By doing this, I do not have to look inward and face some truth about myself.  I essentially protect myself from any pain I may feel when I face those parts of me I may not like. 

Finally, I am selfish.  Yep, I said it.  Crud, I said it.  I want what I want when I want it and how I want it.  To de-humanize is to justify my selfishness.  I want something, and in the way may be another person.  If I look at them as something other than human, my conscience is not violated by my action.  It allows me to bulldoze forward knowing that I am not hurting a de-humanized person. 

So why did I choose this passage for this thought?  I chose it because Paul was human.  I can relate to this verse on so many levels.  Paul was a Spiritual giant.  Yet, he was also a vulnerable, man.  He knew God’s law and God’s grace, yet he still struggled and spoke of that struggle.  Paul gives me hope.  Paul also reminds me that I tend to de-humanize people.  To know that Paul struggled yet was godly, reminds me that those I de-humanize are the same.  So, I go back to the example of the student de-humanizing the teacher.  I explain that a teacher is called to a higher standard, disciplined, trained, a prepared.  However, when challenged, disrespected, and de-humanized enough, she will react.  Why?  Because she is human and has the same emotions the student does.  Helping the student see the teacher’s human qualities allows the student to gain a different perspective.  Helping me see others as a created being by God, allows me the same.

Questions/challenges:

1.      Who is a specific set of people you have de-humanized?

2.      Why do you suppose you do this?

3.      What do you gain out of de-humanizing others?

4.      What Bible characters seem out of reach for you and why?

5.      Pay attention this week to how you treat others as human beings.  Let God reveal to you when you de-humanize and show you something about their humanness.

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Relationship and fellowship...

Week 13:

I John 1:5-7 ⁵ This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. ⁶ If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. ⁷ But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

I John 2:9-11 ⁹ Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness. ¹⁰ Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. ¹¹ But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them.

I have been looking at my fellowship with others lately and how intentional I may or may not be.  There are times in my life where I withdraw and avoid fellowship.  Sometimes, I have been hurt by those I have been in fellowship with.  Sometimes, I feel I do not belong in the company of the fellowship I have been following.  Sometimes, I have wronged someone in my fellowship circle and I am ashamed.  Sometimes there is conflict going on in my fellowship circle (involving me directly or indirectly) and I just want to avoid the conflict. 

These two passages combined remind me of some things about fellowship with other believers.  First, I need fellowship.  Without fellowship, I can be prone to walk in darkness.  Other believers help me to stay in the light where God is.  Sometimes others shed light through their life.  Other times, other believers are the hands, voice, and love of God.  God uses them to show me the light without their knowledge.  At times, they see me in darkness and call me on my walk in that darkness. 

Another revelation for me is the fact that my fellowship gives me some insight into my relationship with God.  When I am struggling with fellowship with others, I am struggling with my relationship with God.  My lack of good fellowship is not a “fellowship” problem, it is a “God” problem.  If I claim that my walk with God is good; yet my fellowship with others is strained, I am deceived.  My darkness has blinded me. 

A further step into this logic would be that if I am avoiding fellowship, then I am very likely avoiding God.  My brothers and sisters are an extension of God’s love and guidance.  If I am avoiding them, I am likely avoiding God.  Who knows why?  I could be living out of my own selfish motives and do not want God to call me on that lifestyle.  I may be ashamed with my life.  I may feel abandoned by what I perceive as unanswered prayers.  I may not want to be told what to do or that I may not be “right”. 

The problem with all of this is that I cannot follow God on an island.  Yes, He reveals Himself in so many ways.  However, the most telling way to know that I follow God is through my fellowship with other believers.  John 13:35 says, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”  To love, I must be in fellowship.  To feel God with “skin on”, I must be in fellowship.  To know whether or not I am right with God, I need to check my fellowship.  To walk in light, I need others to point out where I am walking.  I challenge you, as I do myself, to stay in fellowship.

Questions/challenges:

1.      Explain the comparison between your relationship with God and fellowship with others.

2.      Describe what is going on or what has gone on when you have been out of fellowship with other believers.

3.      As you look or reflect back, how is/was your relationship with God?

4.      What needs to change in your relationship with God to enhance your fellowship with others?

5.      Pay attention this week to how you feel about other believers you fellowship with.  How is this related to your relationship with God?

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Am I ready...?

Week 12:

Luke 22:33-34 ³³ But he replied, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.” ³⁴ Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.”

As I walk through transitions in my life, I notice that I have some sort of goal or vision in mind.  However, I do not always reach that goal or the fruition for that vision within the time I expect.  Or, sometimes I do not reach that destination at all.  It is here that I become discouraged and at times retreat to not even dreaming or trying to follow the spirit’s lead.  My fear of rejection and further discouragement gets in the way and I succumb to that fear through inaction.

When I dream of what I might do next in the Kingdom of God, I need to run these dreams through two questions:  The first is, “Is this what I am supposed to do?”  The second is, “Am I ready?”  I also have to look at what is coming up for me.  Is this a dream?  Is this a vision?  Is this a goal?  Dave Ramsey in his book EntreLeadership gives a description of the three.  Dreaming is good if it leads to a vision and a goal.  If a dream does not lead down this path, it is only a dream.  The vision is what the end may look like.  The goal is a dream and vision “with work clothes on.” 

Answering the first question is basically my deciding if what has come up for me is merely a dream or if it has a vision attached.  This takes prayer; time; paying attention to what’s going on around me; inquiring of scripture; and tapping into my advisors for feedback.  Answering the second question is many times what happens for me.  I see that God has some plan for me, I see a vision and many times I have a goal.  However, the timing may not fit what I had planned.  SO the burning question for me is, “Am I ready?” 

For encouragement, I connect with the above passage.  Peter felt he was ready to die for and with Jesus.  However, Jesus knew that Peter was not ready yet.  Peter had much more to accomplish before his martyr.  I can imagine how emotional the weeping was for Peter when he heard the roster crow.  He was so sure he was ready, yet he went against his word to Jesus.  We know the end of the story.  We know how Peter’s life turned out.  Peter was the foundation builder of the first Church.

When I reflect back on some of the work I have been able to take part in God’s Kingdom, I realize that the timing has not always been what I envisioned.  Yet, I see where I reached a goal even if it wasn’t when or how I envisioned it to be reached.  The Spirit was leading, but God had to get me ready.  There are certain experiences I must go through in order to be used by God.  Peter is not the only example we have.  Joseph, Moses, Jacob, etc. had to be prepared by God to face the task He had for them. 

The next time I face discouragement, I need to remember the two questions.  If I find this is what I supposed to do, then I need to ask God to prepare me.  I need to ask for His guidance and an extra measure of patience as I wait upon Him and His timing.  I must ask myself, “Am I ready?”  If not, I wait, learn, and prepare.

Questions/challenges:

1.      What dreams and visions have you been discouraged about?

2.      What visions and goals have come to fruition but not the way you envisioned?

3.      How are you encouraged by the human qualities of the stories of Joseph, Moses, Jacob, Peter, etc.?

4.      Name and explain a vision you currently have.

5.      Where are you toward reaching the goal of that vision?

6.      Where and how do you think God is preparing you?

7.      Take inventory this week on your dreams, visions, and goals.  Walk yourself through the two questions:  Is this what I am supposed to do?  Am I ready?  Visit with God and see where what comes up for you.

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