Pay attention...

Week 21:

I Samuel 3:8-10 ⁸ A third time the Lord called, “Samuel!” And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.”  Then Eli realized that the Lord was calling the boy. ⁹ So Eli told Samuel, “Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, ‘Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.’” So Samuel went and lay down in his place.  ¹⁰ The Lord came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!”  Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”

Over the last few years I have been seeking and listening for God’s voice.  One of the things I have had to do is to find some discipline in order to hear from God.  I’ve said this many times before, but I have never heard the audible voice of God.  In fact, no on I currently know has reported they have either.  However, in my search I have run across several instances with God as He has revealed Himself.

Many times, I catch myself ending my questions and challenges list with a “pay attention” passage.  Apparently, I am practicing this discipline.  I wrote an article on my former blog titled Random Ramblings, where I had been introduced to the thought of paying attention to random thoughts.  I furthered my quest with the reading of several books around spiritual disciplines, silence, and simplicity:  Celebration of Discipline, The Good and Beautiful God, Experiencing God, and 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess. Each of these has helped me look for God in other places besides what I think would be ideal. 

One over-looked area for me has still been in the area of paying attention.  So much of my time, I want to talk to God, talk about God, work for God, serve God, worship God…all the while expecting to hear God.  While all of these are good and important, I do not do enough paying attention to God.  I do not do enough paying attention to what is going on around me and noticing how God is working.  I am getting better, but not consistent.  It’s funny, as a teacher, coach, and now principal, paying attention is a large part of my job. 

Last year, I wrote blog articles about loving God with all our Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength.  Three of these especially relate closely to paying attention.  With my heart, I am to pay attention to my emotions.  Where do they come from?  Where are they leading me?  What is God telling me as I experience my emotions? 

With my soul, I am to pay attention to how my spirit relates with the Holy Spirit.  What is God leading me to know and do?  Where is His Spirit soothing, healing, guiding, building, and/or filling my soul?  What do I learn about the character of God as He relates to me through His Spirit?

With my mind, I am to pay attention to thoughts.  Which thoughts are mine?  Which thoughts are coming from God?  Why do I have thoughts that seem random?  I believe that this is where I am to start when it comes to listening for God’s voice and following His direction.  In 2 Peter 1:5-9, Peter lists several character traits.  Within that list is knowledge which seems to tie closely together with the rest. 

Working through some of the disciplines in order to begin to pay attention to thought has allowed me to begin to notice God at work more frequently.  I said, “…begin to notice”.  God has been working all along, I just now am beginning to notice and recognize Him at work.  This recognition has also allowed me a ticket into my emotional world where God also resides.  I have begun to feel His presence in different ways than just joy.  And, I have been prompted by His Spirit in many ways to see Him at work in supernatural ways.  Ways that can only be explained by God. 

It is early in this journey.  The continual challenge for me is to pay attention. 

Questions/challenges:

1.      When it comes to the Kingdom of God, what comes to mind when I say, “Pay attention?”

2.      In quiet times, what have you noticed as random thoughts?

3.      Upon reflecting on those thoughts, could some of those been planted by God?

4.      What message do you suppose God is sending you?

5.      What action do you suppose God is calling you to take in relation to those thoughts?

6.      This week, pay attention to your random thoughts.  When you experience them, stop and ask God for more guidance.  Then read His word and share with others your thoughts.  Watch what happens next.

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"Don't judge me..."

Week 20:

James 5:19-20 ¹⁹ My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back,²⁰ remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.

Over the course of recent years, I have been hearing a common phrase, or at least a variance of this phrase, “Don’t judge me…”  I have mentioned before that mainline Christianity has moved more toward a grace-oriented message.  I believe this is a move back toward Jesus and His teachings.  However, as with any shift in philosophy, the swing of the pendulum can become too extreme.  One of the signs of the swing is this statement.  Those who usually use this statement do not want to be called to account for what I call a “violation of conscience”.  I don’t want to go to deep around this “violation” (maybe a topic for another article) but it relates closely to our spirit and how it relates to God’s Holy Spirit living inside of us.

Let’s look at the difference between judgment and accountability.  Both Christians and non-Christians quote Matthew 7:1-2 when referencing judging others:  “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ² For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”  I believe what Jesus was saying here was to not base your judgment upon your own preference and comfort level and then, pass it off as Biblical.  I like to think of it this way; by whose authority is the judgment based upon?  Is it my authority and experiences or is it by God’s authority?  If it is by my authority, preference, and/or experience, then it is the judgment that Jesus warned me not to practice.

Accountability is all-together different.  When I take on Christ as my savior, I agree to follow Him as Lord.  That also means that I follow His teachings and commands.  The Bible is full of verses relating to the following of Jesus also means following His commands: John 14:15, John 14:21, John 15:10, I John 2:3-4, I John 3:24, I John 5:2-3, II John 1:6, and Revelation 14:12 to name a few.  When I violate Jesus’ commands, I have broken an agreement with Him.  When someone points out that I am not following Jesus’ commands, it is not judgment but holding me in account. 

When I am guilty of violating my conscience, an agreement, a law, and/or a command; I normally resist being called into account for that violation.  In fact, many times I say in my heart and/or under my breath, “Who are you to judge?”  As I settle in and begin to drill down to the root of that response, I realize that I do not want to feel guilt or shame for my choice and consequence around my violation.  Therefore, I begin to project back onto the person, who has been sent by the Holy Spirit to call me into account, to protect my pain from shame. 

Written into the heart and soul of each one of us is this sense of right and wrong.  God has interwoven this as a part of our very being.  Yet, as we move away from that part of us, we feel guilt…a tug from the Spirit.  Furthermore, both Christian and non-Christian alike will be judged by God according to the commands He has given us. 

It is much more difficult to hold one who does not believe in the Word of God into account.  His/her reaction to a Christian will be “Don’t judge me.”  The only way to the heart of this individual will be through love.  I have said this before in Grace and truth…, to reach this person…though Jesus, we must help them to feel a sense of belonging until they begin to believe, then they will behave by following commands.  At this point we can much more easily hold them into account.  The caution here is to base any accountability upon a Biblical basis and a holding to an agreement to follow Biblical teaching.  Am I within my right to judge a non-Christian for acts against Biblical commands?  Yes.  Will I draw him/her closer to Jesus by doing so?  Not likely. 

Unfortunately, this “Don’t judge me” thought has entered into the Christian circle.  It has become increasingly difficult to hold Christians accountable due to this philosophy.  So, what do I do?  I first have to check myself and decide if I am holding someone accountable or if I am judging according to my standards.  Once I have ironed that out and I still feel the person has broken an agreement in the following of scripture, I then take a route of checking in around the person’s belief system.  I ask something like this, “Do you believe the Bible to be true?”   If the answer is “yes”, then I ask something like this:  “Why do you take exception to this command?”  This person has chosen to do different than what God has asked.  By calling him/her into account for the choice, it is not judgment. 

I think as a body, we need to re-direct this “Don’t judge me” philosophy as often as possible.  If we are not careful, we will let Satan use his power of deceit to fool us into believing that we cannot hold each other accountable for following God.  We are called by God to hold each other accountable out of love and through love so that we can all finish this race together.

Questions/challenges:

1.      What has been your reaction, both externally and internally to the statement, “Don’t judge me”?

2.      How have you handled that situation?

3.      In your words, what is the difference between judgment and accountability?

4.      Describe a situation where you knew you had Biblical backing yet did not speak up for fear being judgmental.

5.      When you have judged, what preference, experience, or personal standard was that judgment based upon?

6.      Ask God this week to give you the tools of discernment between judgment and accountability.  Pay attention to what comes into your path around this revelation.

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Protector of the heart...

Week 19:

I Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Somewhere early in life I developed this protector of my heart.  He shows up in many ways.  The main way is through dismissiveness.  When I was young, I was teased and set aside.  To combat the hurt of losing connection with others my age, I would take a “rain on you” attitude and toss them on a pile and move on.  If I were to name this protector, I would have to call him, “Toss ‘em aside guy”.  When we are young, we are vulnerable and put feelings out for the world to see.  In most cases, someone in our life trains us that certain feelings are not acceptable.  This usually occurs due to pain we experience from peers and/or authority figures in the form of teasing or shaming.  I like how Richard Rohr describes it from his daily meditation titled Listening for the true voice.

During childhood we developed an internal Loyal Soldier (largely from our parents’ early warnings) whose mission was to keep us safe. Our Loyal Soldier created and deployed whatever strategies were necessary to assure our social, psychological, and physical survival.

The voices of the Loyal Soldier are pre-rational, immediate, deep, constant, and unconscious, and they feel like absolute right and wrong. They become for us the very voice of God (resulting in our distorted, punitive images of God). These voices determine what we value and what we disvalue. They are usually shame- or guilt-based and very good for social order and control, which are first-half-of-life concerns.

We all experience pain of the heart.  Some of us experience this pain more severely than others.  Looking back on that pain for me reveals “Toss ‘em aside guy”.  When something happens close to that area that has been wounded, “Toss ‘em aside guy” shows up and doesn’t allow me far into that pain again.  My “Toss ‘em aside guy” has served me well.  He has shown me how to react to situations.  He has kept me from making a fool of myself.  He has kept my heartache down to a bearable level.  However, I have allowed “Toss ‘em aside guy” to have too much control over my life.  Because of people and their general tendency to look at outward appearance, “Toss ‘em aside guy”  has guided me to worry more about my outward image.  Now, I am not blaming people for my decision to follow “Toss ‘em aside guy”.  However, I need to pay attention to the caution that God gave to Samuel when choosing David.  People, including the great Prophet and Judge Samuel, look at outward appearance.


So, why am I concerned with “Toss ‘em aside guy” taking control?  I was once challenged to think about how I was blocking the flow of God’s grace in my life.  That was a difficult question for me.  Up to that point, I had lived a life of blaming and shifting responsibility.  I had even lived in such a way that I thought that God had stopped the flow of grace.  Now, in my head I knew that was not true, but in my heart, I struggled with this.  I now know that part of that block was because “Toss ‘em aside guy” was covering my heart and vulnerability to the point that I would not even allow God’s love into my heart.  So, by letting “Toss ‘em aside guy” take control, I have walled off the part of my heart that allows God to pour in his love and grace.  The part of me that has protected and served me is now keeping me from peace and joy. 

One of the things I love about this verse is God’s statement to Samuel:  “…but the Lord looks at the heart.”  God is not the other people in my life.  All of us are created in His image, but we are not Him.  I hear from God through other people, but their character, judgment, thoughts, projections, etc. are not God’s. 

Where do I go from here?  First, I must recognize that I have a built in protector, a “Loyal Soldier”.  Second, I must acknowledge that this protector has served me well.  And, he may need to serve me again from time to time.  Finally, I must set my protector aside for the sake of allowing God to pour in His love and grace that he has been showing down for so long.  This is risky for me.  I may get hurt from time to time by others…but when I do, I need to realize the truth of this verse, “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Questions/challenges:

1.      As you read today’s article, did you begin to identify a protector in your life?

2.      How does your protector show up?

3.      If you were to name this protector, what name would you give him/her?

4.      Where has your protector affected your relationship with God?

5.      Pay attention this week to where you have blocked the flow of God’s grace and love and mercy.  If your protector was part of the wall, acknowledge him/her and then set him/her aside and ask God to fill the void where he/she resided. 

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Struggle, strength, and discipline...

Week 18:

This week, spend time in meditation over this passage.  Follow the instructions below the passage as your guide.

Hebrews 12:4-13


⁴ In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. ⁵ And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,

    and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

⁶ because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,

    and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”^[a]

⁷ Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? ⁸ If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. ⁹ Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! ¹⁰ They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. ¹¹ No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

¹² Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. ¹³ “Make level paths for your feet,”^[b] so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

1. Hebrews 12:6 Prov. 3:11,12
2. Hebrews 12:13 Prov. 4:26 

You will be reading this passage three times following the guidelines below:

1.  First reading.  Read the passage through, one time, slowly.  Pause between each clause.  After you finish this first reading, be silent for a minute or two.

2.  Second reading.  Read the text slowly once again, pausing between phrases.  But this time pause even longer and be aware if any of the words or phrases that catch your attention, or seem to stand out in some way.  Make a mental note of those.  After you finish the second reading, write down those special words or phrases.

3.  Third reading.  Reread the passage up to the word or phrase that touched you in some way.  When you reach that word or phrase, stop and repeat it a few times.

4.  Pondering.  Reflect for a while on the phrase that moved you.  Repeat it a few more times.  Let the words interact with your thoughts, your memories or any other Bible passages that come to mind.  Let it touch your heart, desires and fears.  Begin to wonder, “What might God want to say to me specifically”?

5.  Prayer.  Turn that last question into a prayer, asking God, “What is the word you have for me in this passage, God?  Is there anything you want to say to me today?”  Listen.  Write down anything you sense God might be saying to you.

6.  Rest.  Be still and silent for a while.  Enjoy being in the presence of God.  In this step you move from doing to being.  Simply be for a while.

7.  Response.  Ask yourself and God, “What am I being called to do as a result of the word I have been given?”  Perhaps you are feeling challenged to love God more, or to accept some aspect of who you are, or to serve someone you know or to begin changing some aspect of your character.  Whatever it is, write it out.  “Today God is calling me to be a more ______ person.  Be with me God and teach me how.”   Thank God for the word and the calling you have been given.

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Which one am I...?

Week 17:

Proverbs 9:12 If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you; if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer.

Notice the picture above.  This cactus has been growing off our back patio for years.  My father had it in a metal tub that has rotted away and the cactus has grown into the ground beneath where the tub was.  I have taken many pictures of this cactus during the spring when it blooms.  Notice the beauty of the flower yet the potential pain of the thorn.  It is interesting how they are so close together.  At times, those of us who live in righteousness walk that line between the goodness of the flower and the sting of the thorn.

Recently at school, one of our teachers has encouraged his class to stand during the reading of scripture.  No matter the circumstance, whether we have a guest speaker in chapel, or the text is being read in class, the students stand in honor of God’s Word being read.  It is an impressive site…and…it has compelled others to stand with them.  The guest speakers have been taken back and impressed as well.  However, now that it has happened a few times, there has arisen a group of mockers who make fun of these students for their act of reverence. 

This mocking of these students brought up another passage for me.  Matthew 5:10-12: “¹⁰ Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. ¹¹ “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. ¹² Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”  As I reflected on how I may approach the students who have been mocking this righteous behavior, I needed to do some self-reflection of my own.  Which one am I…the flower or the thorn, the wise or the mocker, the righteous or the insulter? 

I would love to say that I am the flower, the wise, the righteous.  Today, I would say that I am more the positive than the negative.  However, I have not always been so.  I have been the thorns, the mocker, and the insulter.  So, I ask myself three questions:  What is my reason?  What is my intent?  Is this the way I want others to know me? 

I think my reason and intent are intertwined.  One of the reasons I have mocked righteousness in the past has been because I felt conviction and guilt that I am not acting in righteousness.  My intent behind the mocking is to ease my discomfort by making fun of the act or even the person behind the act.  A second reason is that I tend to make fun of what I do not understand.  The intent is to cover what I perceive as stupidity in not understanding.  Finally, and unfortunately, my reason has been simply that I was bent on committing evil.  My intent in this case is usually to gain something for myself, usually some sort of reaction and notoriety. 

Of course, this is not how I would want others to know me.  Some of my deepest regrets have been how I have presented myself in the past.  Many who know me now and most who know me from my past would see me as an imperfect, righteous man.  However, regretfully, there are those who were only around me when I was the thorn, the mocker, and the insulter.  I am thankful for the grace of God through Jesus that helps me to see myself as a forgiven man.  My prayer is that others will know God’s love and grace despite my poor choices and actions.

For those who are living as the flower, the wise, and the righteous; do not lose heart and do not give up on that life.  Take to heart Matthew 5:10-12, not so that you may gain reward, but because it is what God put on your heart to do.  His blessings will follow somewhere.

Questions/challenges:

1.      Describe a time where you have been the thorn, the mocker, and/or the insulter.

2.      What do think where your reasons and intent behind your choices and actions?

3.      As you reflect back on that time, how do you feel about it now?

4.      When you have been the flower, the wise, and the righteous…what came to mind when the thorn, the mocker, and the insulter came around?

5.      What type of person do you want to be known or viewed?

6.      Take inventory on your life this week.  Reflect back on which you have been in some situations in your life.  Let God point out to you what was behind your choices and actions.  Then, let God’s grace and forgiveness cover your heart.

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Churchy transparency vs. authentic transparency...

Week 16:

I Corinthians 4:5 ⁵ Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God.

What is hidden will be revealed.  God will shed light on all things…the good and the bad.  I hear from time to time about transparency among believers.  In Church, there are times where a transparent life is mentioned.  My experience around this has been varied.  In the right context, transparency has been a grace-filled, freeing experience.  However, in most church contexts, it has been “Churchy” and shallow. 

What I am talking about here is not necessarily confession linked to sin…although it applies to that as well.  In fact, confessing sin can really be easier than becoming transparent and opening my heart.  You see, I know just the right amount of sin to confess to get the pat on the back and the golden ticket of forgiveness.  I can use “Church” language, appeal to the sins of similar nature others have committed, and feel a sense of accomplishment.  But to bear my heart’s longings…that is just not safe. 

For me, to admit I am disappointed in God’s decision or timing creates discomfort in others.  So does admitting I am angry, revealing my pain in a loss, admitting a blind spot exists, etc.  Many do not want to hear that I was disappointed and wondered where God was when my Grandparents died while still relatively young; or that my parents divorced; or that I felt like an outcast in Junior High and that the feeling comes up occasionally when I am among peers today.  So, I have learned like so many others to use the “Church” language, pray harder, learn more scripture, do more workshops and seminars, and play “Church” well. 

You see, what I put in the dark is not always sin.  I will push down things like sadness, fear, anger, discomfort and cover them with “Churchy” talk.  But they never really disappear and usually they re-appear in the form of some sort of sin in the future.  God wants all of that in the light.  “He will bring to the light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart.”  This transparency can be painful in the beginning, but a whole lot less so than what pain comes out of the darkness.

I think of it this way.  When painting a house, I must first remove any of the peeling paint.  If I try to paint over the peeling paint, then the new paint will not last very long.  Similarly, if I use “Churchy” talk to cover over my heart’s issues, it is a temporary fix.  So, I must remove the old paint.  Now, I could shortcut the process by just brushing off the loose flakes.  This is like confessing sin in such a way to gain sympathy but not really having the contrite heart.  No, I must scrape and sand the surface in order to prepare it for new paint.  Scraping and sanding is messy.  Part of the wood is lost in the process.  Some paint is hard to remove and takes some digging.  Being transparent is messy and painful coming out.  However, the new paint of grace is so much smoother and lasts so much longer when I expose the wood of my heart. 

This is a risky process for me.  I will be judged by others who do not understand this authentic transparency.  There may be consequences for opening up.  I lose my excuses for failures.  I could lose some of my drive that made me who I am today.  However, what I lose is nothing compared to what I gain in God’s grace and knowing that nothing is hidden.  It really takes a lot of time and wasted energy to push things into the darkness.  God will reveal it eventually, why shouldn’t I help Him by opening up now?

Questions/challenges:

1.      What repetitive sin do you hide?

2.      What uncomfortable things, not necessarily sinful things do you hide?

3.      Why do you suppose that this transparency is not practiced in most Churches?

4.      What wound do you need God’s grace to flood?

5.      Notice this week what you hide and repress.  Ask God to help you to bring that into the light. 

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How long do I put up with you...?

Week 15:

Matthew 17:17 “You unbelieving and perverse generation,” Jesus replied, “How long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me.”

I was being hard on myself recently about my lack of patience with people.  I was in a place where I was trying to help.  I was even asked for help and advice.  Yet after spending time with the people I was helping, they never used what I coached them to use.  For the most part, it is selfish of me to get a charge out of helping someone when he/she uses my advice.  It is especially selfish when I do so in order to gain my own glory.  However, the situation that tries my patience the most is when I feel I was Spirit-led and had no motive beyond help.  It is here where I really have to drill down and look at whether or not I have a right to be impatient. 

Sometimes, I truly feel like Jesus did in the above verse.  The people He was teaching and leading just were not getting why He was here.  All the people were wanting was something for them.  And, His disciples were just not getting this faith thing.  Jesus had been with them for some time.  He had taught them, mentored them, and they still did not get it.  I gain great comfort through reading about Jesus being human and frustrated. 

What this tells me is that there are times where my impatience and frustration are valid and even warranted.  Jesus lived as the perfect man…the second Adam.  Jesus was what God intended for humankind to be like.  Yet, Jesus did and said things that make us church people uncomfortable.  How can Jesus say, “How long shall I put up with you?”  Jesus could because He was human.  But notice that Jesus did not do what I and many others do when frustrated and impatient.  Jesus did not belittle, use sarcasm, resent, throw a tantrum, or disengage.  He still healed the boy.  Afterward, He explained to His disciples why they were unsuccessful in healing the boy.  Jesus expressed His emotion, was clear about it, and continued on. 

So what do I learn from Jesus’ example?  First of all, I must ask myself, “Why am I impatient and frustrated in this moment?”  Is it because I want glory?  If so, then I am serving with the wrong motive and I need to check myself and move in a different direction.  If I am serving due to a nudge from the Spirit to generally help, then I can give myself grace when I become frustrated with the lack of action. 

Again, Jesus was our example of humankind.  I am allowed a certain amount of emotional outburst within the confines of control.  I am allowed to be frustrated that what I advised was not used.  What I have to watch for is how I react beyond the frustration.  Am I sarcastic, belittling, resentful, or checked out?  If I am taking part in this behavior, then I have gone beyond the bounds that Jesus showed me.  In short, can I be good with the Spirit led me here, I spoke, and the rest is up to the one I attempted to help?  The big challenge for me is to not only be good with myself around this but to also avoid the negative follow-up that could arise.  I can be human, but no inhumane.

Questions/challenges:

1.      What tests your patience the most?

2.      When you are asked to help and then the person you’re helping does nothing you suggest, how do you react?

3.      What is your go to reaction beyond impatience and frustration (resentment, sarcasm, belittling, manipulation, and/or disengagement, something else)?

4.      What can you learn from Jesus in this area?

5.      Pay attention this week to why you give advice or help.  Is it Spirit-led, or is it selfish motivation?  Ask God to reveal to you what He wants you to see and hear in this area of your life. 

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